A Public Resource for Families

Is your church safe for your family?

We are families who trusted our church with our children, our marriages, and our faith. We are sharing what we learned so you can make an informed decision.

Stories

Families are speaking up

These are the voices of families who have experienced it firsthand. Names are withheld for their protection.

We were told to trust the process. The process destroyed our family. I wish someone had given us these questions before we walked through those doors.

Anonymous · 8 years

When I raised concerns about how my family was being treated, I was told I was being divisive. Within a month, we were completely isolated from our community.

Sarah M. · 5 years

I signed a care team contract without understanding what I was giving up. No licensed professional would ever ask a family to agree to those terms.

Anonymous · 3 years

A judge recognized the church by name within five minutes of testimony and described the pattern of harm she had seen in other cases. That tells you everything.

Court Record · Oklahoma County
Share Your Story

Your identity will never be shared without your explicit consent.

Before You Walk Through Those Doors

Know Before You Go

Six things every family should understand before trusting a church with their children, their marriage, or their faith.

Child Safety

Who has access to your children and how were they vetted?

Is Pastoral Counseling Safe?

Know the difference between licensed therapy and pastoral counseling. Your sanity and safety is on the line.

Family Matters

When pastoral care turns to coercive control, it could cost you your children.

Confidentiality

Is it care or is it gossip?

Leadership & Governance

Who answers to who and why churches need accountability

What Is Spiritual Abuse?

Recognize the signs of coercion, control, and manipulation in a church setting

“The most loving thing you can do is not see your kids.”

Words spoken by a pastor to a father of four.

Blog

Resources for families

Child Safety5 min

How to Know If Your Church Vets Its Leaders

Most parents assume their church has done the work. Here is how to verify it for yourself.

Is Pastoral Counseling Safe?7 min

Counseling vs Therapy: Know the Difference

There is a difference between spiritual guidance and institutional control over your family.

Family Matters8 min

What Is Parental Alienation and Why Do Some Churches Enable It

Mental health professionals and family court judges have identified a pattern.

Is It Spiritual Abuse?6 min

The Cost of Confession at the Wrong Church

What happens when what you share in private becomes a tool for manipulation and control.

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You are not alone

If you have experienced or witnessed harmful behavior at your church, your story can help protect other families. Everything shared is confidential unless you choose otherwise.

Share Your Story

This site provides questions and publicly available information for public consideration. It does not make factual allegations. If your church would like to respond to any of these questions, we welcome their transparency. Maintained by a group of concerned families.